Where are the scars?
No one sees the scars that are inside you. Those comments are constantly swirling around in your head. Telling you how ugly you are, you are damaged goods, and that no one would want you. Hearing it once from one person is enough to never want to be around. But hearing it day in day out. You start believing that this is true. That is were the insecurities deepen.
Hearing these words over and over again, eventually you start believing them and these words become your inner voice.
Most people who have never been abused would ask “Why would you stay if that is what you are hearing all the time”. I get it I really do. But you see this is not how it starts out.
You are courted and courted hard.
It’s like they are fluffing up their feathers showing you what they got, and they have what you want. Than slowly that door closes and like a waffling smell that goes through the air it starts slowly at first, then more and more, until the abuser takes over and has complete control over you.
That is what it is all about. They need to control someone. It makes them feel powerful and heard.
Normally when a woman is being verbally abused, she is being abused physically, as well. Or will be soon.
Breaking the cycle is even harder. It takes a strong woman. One with courage. Over time, normally a long time of having this abuse and changing who you are. Taking a stand against the abuser is powerful and they will try to snuff out your thoughts and feelings and ask for you to come back to them.
Stand up, stay strong, find your tribe, love them hard, as you will need support to go through this.