Out of all the different types of abuse, this one is the hardest to understand and identify. Emotional abuse is knowing and understanding how they are treating you is by devaluing you, making you feel useless and not heard.
Fear is something we all struggle with. I am shaking and I don’t know what to do? What is the next step? I just, can’t do this. As humans we are all faced with fear at some point. Often we don’t know how to handle the next step. We tend to stay right were it is comfortable and not move forward. Eventually, it gets stagnant. In order to move forward we have to move past the fear.
How do you know when burn out appears? Is there a way to stop it? Are you ignoring all the signs?
Being aware of the signs is key to knowing how to stop the process. If you keep working, working, working and have no time to have fun, or not having the time for self-care. Eventually, it is inevitable, you will burn out. It is ugly when it happens. It is better to realize it on your own and take the necessary steps to stop the process.
Let's take a step back, first what is burn out?
It is a form of stress that will lead to being detached (from yourself), not being productive and spinning your wheels and not being able to propel yourself forward. Essentially it makes you feel emotionally and physically exhausted all the time.
What are the signs:
Not being able to concentrate
Being run down (getting sick)
Loss of appetite
Fatigue (lack of energy and always being tired)
Once you recognize that it is happening to you, it is important to take the steps to recover and being fully aware and being able to take charge of you!
You may be asking how? Allow me to share it with you.
By being mindful of your actions during the day. If you are working a lot making sure to schedule in some time to have some me time. That means having time for self-care. Go have a bath, do some yoga, a craft. Whatever activity you enjoy doing. Check in with yourself and make sure that you are on track with your recovery. Always keep in mind if you take care of yourself you will be more productive then if you allow burn out to take over.
Procrastination is something we all do at some point in our lives. That dreaded task we put it to the side until we cannot any longer. I have just described me when I was a teen and my early adulthood. I learned pretty quickly that I could not go through like this. Do you procrastinate like I used to? Man, I was the queen!
I knocked it out of the park time and time again!
While I was in high school, I remember getting a project, or an assignment it did not matter what it was. I would wait until it was due the night before and pull an all-nighter until I got it done. The stress and the exhaustion that I gave myself were simply overwhelming me, now to even think of it. Wow!
It is crazy to think of what and why I did that. I had never learned how to manage my time, therefore. I did not know how to properly set it aside, or maybe I did not want to. Regardless, I was in oblivion. Looking back on it. I have no idea why I would put myself through that!
THEN I got a business.
Procrastinating just does not fly! I learned real quick how to manage my time better. I simply would not have lasted as a business owner. I have implemented systems that I learned in every aspect of my life.
When I was at college, I was the person who everyone in my class asked what was due when. It floored me and it took me a while to get used to this new found title.
What did I do?
I got clear on what I needed to do. I set goals and I wrote everything down. I suggest starting with the tasks that you do not like and work from there. Use the ones you like as an incentive to get things done. In the end, you will be more productive.
Do you constantly judge others? Your friend just told you they bought the cutest purebred dog. Your first thought was last week they could not afford groceries! Now they have a dog they cannot afford. Smart one!! This will end poorly.
Or your partner left their clothes on the floor again. Your thought is how lazy they are! And gah the nerve as you bend over to pick up their mess.
You have thoughts that criticize other constantly through out the day. It is time to take a closer look at you to see what is really going on. Often we are found judging others. This means that deep within ourselves we are truly not happy on the inside.
When this happens we attract people into our lives that will treat us how we feel about ourselves. I remember once Oprah saying, “We teach others how to treat us.” Those words have stayed with me. It is true. If we fear abandonment, that is what we will bring more of into our lives. For example we will be with someone who in the past has abandoned someone else. This is unknowing to us, as we would not intentionally go out and seek someone who would do this to us. Instead we think about how our partner does not spend time with us and how they are always out spending more money on other things.
When you think these things your mind will start being overactive and bring you to a situations that are fictional, then you will start believing it. If this is the case then this is a sign that you really do not love yourself. You are truly not at peace with yourself, or the world around you. This will lead to others not being perfect as that is the way you feel about yourself.
Once you love yourself that is when you will be able to fully love another. Normally it takes a crisis, or a break though to be able to fully be at peace with yourself and have the desire to love yourself whole-heartedly.